Multiple Personality

There is someone named Heidi who apparently was on a reality-adjacent series on MTV; I tried to watch an episode, but lacked the endurance. During my viewing period — akin to the amount of time one can stare at an eclipsing sun before the retinas incinerate — I was not able to discern which of the dramatis personae was the Heidi.

I feel obliged to state that Heidi Whatever’s name doesn’t appear often in my thoughts or my discourse. However, a recent article brought her up — not unlike scallops eaten in robust combination with Jagermeister (though it is, perhaps, unfair to attribute both retinal and digestive damage to one blonde celebutante). It seems that this young women also aspires to sing, and her debut CD is called “Superficial.” But I’m not here to make a point of the obvious. The noteworthy information is that, while Susan Boyle and Mariah Carey battle for multi-platinum, the results of Heidi’s CD sales have come in: 658.

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I’ve just discovered something that will take me a while to process.

It seems there’s this guy in England who talks in his sleep. He’s apparently quite mild-mannered during the day (he’s ENGLISH, okay?). But his wife writes down everything he says in his sleep. And she posts them on this blog.

Here are a few samples:

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Jason Mraz has written something quite wonderful about equal rights on his blog.

I like it so much that I’ve decided to reprint it in full right here. Enjoy:

As a straight man I really have nothing to gain by standing up for equal rights for Gays, Lesbians, Bisexual, and/or my Transgender friends. Except for the fact that I have many friends who are still subjected to hurtful comments by a society that hasn’t yet embraced fully the nature of… nature.

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After watching all seasons of So You Think You Can Dance, plus just last night watching a tape of this year’s Kennedy Center Honors, I have pinpointed a mounting trend that I find quite disconcerting: television has concluded that we’re more interested in watching people’s reactions to things than to the things themselves.

Yes, it it customary to cut between a performance and the audience (or judges) watching a performance, but the time ratio between performance and reaction has drastically altered. On the Kennedy Show Honors, there was literally at least 50 percent of performance time devoted to reaction shots. Granted, some of the shots were of the honorees, but here’s a tip for directors: If you’ve captured a reaction shot of great surprise over what they are viewing, chances are WE WANT TO SEE IT TOO.

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Fireworks

I wonder if there’s anyone in Conservative America who’s as rebuffed watching Kyle and Fish as I am watching Gigi and Schuyler.

I don’t know if I’ll have all that much more to say today…I’m feeling strangely end-of-the-year lethargic, and it’s all I can do to stay alert as Sassy declares her undying Lumber Love to poor Matthew.

On to something interesting (while the fire burns and Gigi whores out in the background…avoiding…avoiding…), Kyle has realized the duplicitous elfishness that is Nick. I have to say that they made Nick sympathetic as he admitted how he couldn’t bear the thought of being alone after the bashing. Semi-sniff. Then Kyle dumped his ass and rushed off to reclaim the ass that he wanted. (Did I phrase that poetically or not? I’m losing perspective.)

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OMG, I love love LOVE this!

I do enjoy Alanis, and I’ve always liked this song…but it has always bugged my butt that none of the freakin’ references is actually IRONY. Finally…a voice in the wilderness has literally responded…or responded literally…whatever…

Enjoy: Read the rest of this entry »

Hey, kids, one of those funny girls from [title of show] (and I mean actual girls, not one of the two guys who march to their own drummer) has her own new Webshow. It probably won’t make much of a diff to you unless you like the theater and/or musicals and/or Broadway. And if you don’t like any of those things, do you really see much hope for this relationship?

This funny [title of show] girl licks her guests. And one of her guests is Jonathan Groff. I would lick that. Read the rest of this entry »

I’ve watched this clip like seven times, and it still makes me laugh so hard I cry. Enjoy:

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Nothing else compared to the Contemporary dance that Jakob and Kathryn did. I was stunned by it.

Which is not to say that Ryan isn’t welcome to Samba shirtless anytime he’d like.

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Y’know, we Jews have a long history of human rights activism and support for social justice. Alternately, Joe Lieberman has a long history as an asswipe. Here is a link to his current, vehement opposition to a public option (or Medicare buy-in) for health care. I am sick to death of this (say it with me) schmuck. Or, to make it slightly more alliterative and slightly less Jewy, this self-serving schmuck.

I think I like Joe Lieberman LESS than I like so-called Conservative Republicans. Because at least with those douchebags you know where you stand. Lieberman is a douchewipe assbag in Moderate clothing. I really feel he needs to be thrown out of something. Perhaps Congress. Or Judaism. (Yeah, I know, it’s a religion/culture and has no specific political stances. And I am even acquainted with — and am, gulp!, related to — some very right-brainwashed Jews.) But this guy just embarrasses me, as a fellow Jew. I can’t think of a single way I want to be included in the same paragraph with him.

And, to round out my rant against people who I think are intentionally fighting AGAINST helping this country, here is a fable in tribute to Republicans: Read the rest of this entry »