Multiple Personality

Tonight the producers took 90 minutes of content and stretched it annoyingly into a 2-hour time slot. Instead of getting more dancing, which would have been welcome, we got more endless, overbearing comments from the judges (which was not so welcome).

I’ll say up front that I’m pissed at the judges from their judging last week. Not just that they eliminated Marquis instead of Chris, but that they gave that flaccid reason that his solo was “all tricks and not enough dancing.” One final comment about that: their judging was all bullshit and no credibility. This week, we add into the judging pool the mixed blessing that is Adam Shankman. Yes, he’s talented. Yes, he’s amiable. But tonight he joined the other two blowhards in filling up their endless screen time with sooooo much chatter about themselves instead of what we cared about. And Adam, we know you love the dancers, but do us all a favor and close your amiable pie-hole a little sooner.

There. Now that I’ve vented, I’m in a slightly better mood, and I won’t be so crotchety for the rest of this. Cat came out tonight looking spokesmodelicious, which seems to come second nature to her. However, have you noticed that her skirts seem to be getting shorter in proportion to her hair getting bigger? Tonight her hair was in danger of joining the Country Music Hall of Fame, while her dress was ready to do the “Big Spender” number from Sweet Charity. But it’s fun sometimes to see people who aren’t drag queens dress that way.

On to the couples. There was one STANDOUT tonight and a few honorable mentions. The judges were mercifully in agreement with me on the Standout, but had their heads somewhere near their buttocks on some of the other calls.

Kherington and Twitch
The evening started out with a hip-hop number choreographed by Tabitha and Samantha, or whatever their names are . . . Napoleon and Waterloo? I dunno. Anyway, Twitchington did pretty damn good in this combination. It was smartly choreographed and they were milking it. I especially appreciated Kherington doing so well in a style that was so far out of her comfort zone. Not only was she hitting the moves, she looked like she was having a fantastic time (and was radiant). Twitch was a very strong partner, and the two were in sync and quite satisfying.

Courtney and Gev
The first thing to say about these to is, those were the fiiiinest looking Munchkins I’ve ever seen. For a couple of shrimpboats, those two had it goin’ on. They danced a rumba by Tony and Melanie (by the way, it’s nice that it’s no longer “Tony and his assistant” . . . Melanie deserves her share of things). I thought Courtney and Gev did a fine job with what they were given, however it just wasn’t really a rumba. If Nigel wants to talk about “all tricks and not enough dancing,” this number was the epitome of that. They were choreographed from one trick to the next, and there was virtually no partnered, ballroom rumba dancing at all. I don’t usually care about such things, but if they’re going to eliminate Marquis for tricks without dancing — and they’re going to expect other couples to hit the ballroom benchmarks (see Chelsea and Thayne below), then they can’t let this slide. And they did. Judge cred level sinking lower, dudes. On the personal front, it is still fascinating watching Gev wear his little Eastern European heart on his sleeve over his already-has-a-boyfriend partner. They better be careful that this subplot doesn’t become more interesting than their dancing.

Comfort and Not-Marquis
Yes, I know that isn’t his actual name. But now, whenever I see that bland boy with the hyperextension, all I can think is that he’s Not Marquis. So Tyce choreographed an African jazz number, danced to the music of that great African jazz musician, Marilyn Manson. It actually was a pretty good combination (certainly better than that attention-deficit-disorder Broadway thing he did last week). I thought Comfort did quite a good job; hip-hop dancers are all about sharp and punched movements, and she was doing some pretty impressive extended phrases. I felt a lot of expression in her body, and I rather liked what she was putting out. Not-Marquis was goofy as usual, and wasn’t I thrilled that he was shirtless, so I could see that back hyperextension in all its wonder? Note to costumer: there are at least three guys who I would LIKE to see shirtless, and you give me THAT one? Then Tyce made them end the number by sliding around on burlap. In the up-close sequence beforehand, Tyce was giving them direction to own their burlap. Someone must not be keeping up with his Ritalin.

Jessica and Will
These two were saddled with disco, courtesy of Doriana the Disco Douchebag. I’m sorry, but I was choreographing during the disco era, and I can’t disagree with Nigel more when he starts drooling over the wonders of Doriana Sanchez’s choreography. There is no flow, there is no fun. It is just a hodgepodge of disco cliches, each given eight counts and then on to the next trick. Funny . . . I think I heard something about all tricks and not enough dancing somewhere. Whatever. The judges were once again wrong and annoying. Granted, Jessica wasn’t as good as she could’ve been, but it mostly wasn’t her fault, it was the clumsy dance. And Will was not the second coming they were all acting like; he was pushing it all over the place and felt so un-disco to yours truly. This warn’t no Dance Fever, kids.

Kourtni and Matt
Along with Twitchington, this was another of tonight’s honorable mentions. They introduced a scary new choreographer tonight, SONJA! From the land of Mohawkia, east of NoseRingenstan! She looked weird, and she choreographed weird. And, weirdly, that was a good thing. I begrudgingly agree with the judges that Matt is still a little too stiff and pulled-up, but this was his freest performance, and the intricate choreography accentuated how amazingly he can move that big ol’ body. Kourtni was divine. I’ve never seen her better, and thoroughly enjoyed her. I can’t say that I took anything away from the combination except that they were weird and funny and from a distant planet. SONJA said that they were superheroes, but they seemed more like extra-long amoebas to me. But really entertaining amoebas.

Chelsea and Thayne
Look, I think I’ve made it clear that I want Chelsea and My Future Boyfriend to stick around in this competition. But tonight they fell victim to the nightmare that is . . . Quick Step. Dun dun dunnnn. Some icy Irish chick gave them the choreography, and she didn’t do them any favors. They were having carriage problems, unison problems, body-closeness problems, get-all-the-steps-in problems. There was problems! What was interesting, however, was that during the eight counts of eight that they were allowed to break from the partner dancing, they showed some of the magic that is what we love about them. But it was only sporadic nanoseconds, and then back to the problems. They looked gorgeous, though. And I am not getting separation anxiety right now because I know how strong they can be in the solo dances that will keep them in it.

Chelsie and Mark
STANDOUT! This was the number of the night. I have to hand it to Napoleon and Endora and Tabitha — they put together a hell of a dance! And Chelsie and Mark really rose to the occasion. It was very moving, and technically impeccable. Mark is starting to become my favorite dancer, because his uniqueness is not an affectation, but rather something personal and fascinating that augments the dances he is in, instead of upstaging them. And I don’t know where li’l Chelsie gets the maturity with which she dances, but she is a borderline prodigy. What she is pulling out of that little body at her young age! This is one of those numbers I want to leave on the TiVo so I can watch it until I’ve had my fill. I think this might be the most complete dance I’ve seen thus far this season.

Katee and Joshua
This gets an honorable mention, not the Tamale Train (or whatever) that Mary insisted on bestowing upon it. Once again, Tony and Melanie choreographed a ballroom number than had very little partner dancing in it. Samba needs a LOT of closeness, and hips tight together and in unison. That was missing. I won’t belittle what was exciting about this number; from the first stage picture of Katee’s extended leg waaaay up on Joshua’s shoulder, I was loving it. And I was enraptured by that spinning lift at the end — particularly Katee’s body position in it. In fact, I venture to say that Katee stole this number from Joshua. As much as the judges said otherwise, he did not have samba hips. He gave it his best shot, but he did not dance in the style. He was supporting her quite beautifully, but she was ultimately carrying him.

So . . . who will be the bottom three couples tomorrow? Unfortunately, Chelsea and Thayyyyne will be there. They should be joined by Jessica and Will, and Comfort and Not-Marquis. But Comfort and Will are very popular, and Kourtni and Matt might go in there instead of one of those other two couples. If it were just about dancing, no way Kourtni and Matt would be in the bottom three, but America is one big high school and the popular kids always get some extra votes. Will is the varsity quarterback, and Comfort is the tough/cool girl who goes, “Oh no you di’in’t!” a lot. Matt is the band geek.

Going home tomorrow: Jessica and (if there is a higher intelligence in the Universe) Not-Marquis.

This entry was posted on Wednesday, June 25th, 2008 at 11:32 pm and is filed under So You Think You Can Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.