Yeah, I know I said I wasn’t going to watch the results show. And I didn’t. (I just looked online and found out who was eliminated.)
Hee hee hee.
You know I’m happy about this. I’m gonna go cook myself a nice puttanesca sauce in tribute.
I believe the right person got bootied off — I mean, bootie off — I mean . . .
Like the cockroach, even when assaulted with toxic radiation I have survived the first week of this thing and am back for more nuking. Cloris is dressed in something Scottish; I don’t know what kind of dance they could possibly be doing. Oh . . . maybe it’s supposed to be some Spanish dama thing.
Toni Braxton and Alec the Ego are up first. Their Rhumba was pretty, even though there were only about three seconds of actual Rhumba in it. And Toni’s outfit was weird; it looked like an open dressing gown with a bushy tail in the back. She looks disproportionately naked compared to her partner. Why isn’t he practically nekkid, I ask you? (Note to producers: make Alec more naked next week and I will like him better.)
I honestly don’t know how Kristen Wiig does this:
John McCain is on top of things:
Sen. John McCain (R-Ariz.) and his top aides took credit for building a winning bailout coalition – hours before the vote failed and stocks tanked.
Shortly before the vote, McCain had bragged about his involvement and mocked Sen. Barack Obama for staying on the sidelines.
“I’ve never been afraid of stepping in to solve problems for the American people, and I’m not going to stop now,” McCain told a rally in Columbus, Ohio.
John: Stop now. Please.
Now give us a hug.
I’ve been sick in bed for a few days, so I may have synapses firing in unexpected — and perhaps incoherent — ways. That being said, aren’t Sarah Palin and Sasha Baron Cohen the complete polar opposites of each other?
The inspiration for this theory came from reading articles about the two of them one after the other. First was a piece from the über-conservative National Review, surprisingly condemning the Sarracuda. Excerpts:
Palin’s recent interviews with Charles Gibson, Sean Hannity, and now Katie Couric have all revealed an attractive, earnest, confident candidate. Who Is Clearly Out Of Her League.
Palin filibusters. She repeats words, filling space with deadwood. Cut the verbiage and there’s not much content there.
If BS were currency, Palin could bail out Wall Street herself.
And remember, this was from a conservative pundit. Maybe there’s hope for us after all.
The second article was about the former Borat, who is now filming his new movie in the gay fashionista character of Bruno. He interrupted Milan Fashion Week by doing his own strut down the catwalk:
So the way I see it, Palin spends all her time playing a fake persona that wants to give the impression of being “real,” for the larger purpose of keeping the lies of our current government going. Cohen spends all his time playing fake personas that turn what is “real” on its ass, for the larger purpose of exposing the truth about us.
By the way, the official title of the Bruno film is Brüno: Delicious Journeys Through America for the Purpose of Making Heterosexual Males Visibly Uncomfortable in the Presence of a Gay Foreigner in a Mesh T-Shirt.
Let’s all see if we can think up the subtitle of a movie called Sarah:, shall we?
I realize that putting “porn” in the title means I’m gonna get a whole different contingent of Googlers. So be it. This is funny. And oddly unsettling. Or maybe that’s just me.
I can’t tell if this is more an indictment of Republicans, the media, or movie trailers. (My favorite line: “From the makers of The Mighty Ducks and Syriana!”)
I think “Sarracuda” is still a tight, terse nickname for the tight, terse woman (who is even more terse now that her handlers are enforcing this “I don’t talk to no reporters” policy). But thanks to smrtmnky for coming up with a coupl’a new nicknames that I really love:
Bible Spice
Moosealini
And a shout-out to the dames at Guanabee, who added “LEAVE SARAH PALIN ALONE!!” to one of their titles. Until then, I hadn’t realized how much the ‘Cuda-lingus defense had started to sound like that “LEAVE BRITNEY ALONE!” Chris boy on YouTube. (The only difference, of course, being that Britney doesn’t want to be second in line to run the world. And didn’t extort money from the government for a Bridge to Nowhere. But why quibble?)
Alert the media:
Hurry. Run. Run like the wind and tell the world.
Here’s a bit of what Anna Quindlen wrote in the current Newsweek. I’ve transcribed this with my own little hands — no copy and paste — because it’s so good:
, , , Perhaps this is the race in which voters will not be charmed by affect or ripostes. After all, eight years ago, the American people embraced a good ole boy at the polls and wound up with a man neither insightful nor intellectual enough to manage the nation.
The presidency was once aspirational. Voters wanted someone smarter, better informed, stronger than they were.
. . . I can’t really be that America has become a nation so small-minded that intellect must be belittled. It can’t really be about likability, can it? I don’t need the president to be my friend. I have friends. What I need is someone to clean up the mess George W. Bush has made of the country I love.
Here is the full article. Hmm . . . I guess I could have copy-and-pasted it.