Multiple Personality

Misty the Olympian is out, and the costume designer apparently went with her; it looked pretty Halloweeny as the remainders tramped down that staircase. This motley crew is doing either the Jive or the Viennese Waltz. I think Cloris is doing a Jive, from the looks of that hot pink thing she’s wearing. The Jive. Egad.

Susan Lucci started things off with the Jive. I fear for the Jive. Sure enough, she pretty much destroyed the thing, and not in a good way. The woman needs to eat a powerbar before she comes out; there is just no energy coming out of that perfect little 60-year-old body. I’m hearing she had an injury. Poor Erica. But I yawn.

The Hope for Dance on ABC is up next: Lance and Lacey. I’m disheartened to hear they’re low-keying their innovation to try and please the Old Brit judge. I think Sarah Palin must have something to do with it. Well, that was a pretty nice Waltz. His legs could have been straighter and his toe could’ve been more pointed, but his form was actually quite good. And it was nicely lyrical, with just a little bit of flavor. Lacey looked beautiful, and I liked it pretty well overall. But I still like them better when they’re pushing more envelopes.

Sprinty Maurice and Bangy Cheryl are Jiving. I’m preparing to be underwhelmed. (Should I be more glass-half-full here? Nah, I don’t think so.) Hmm…A Jive without any bounce…what an innovation! In the World of Boredom! Honestly, if that staircase hadn’t had flashing lights, I wouldn’t have known that I was supposed to be excited. And did you know they were dancing to “Rock around the Clock”? Y’see, they had clocks on their clothes, and they were looking at their watches. What FANTASTIC symbolism! (I’m being as sarcastic as I know how to be. If they destroy the Jive any further on this show, the Grey’s Anatomy doctors are gonna have to get out those freakin’ paddles.) Humbug.

Rocco and the Vodka must be about to do a Viennese Waltz, because that sure ain’t an Amurrican shirt he’s wearing…unless you remember the Puffy Shirt from Seinfeld. When he looks that ridiculous before he even starts, where’s the hope, people? Where’s the hope?! I feel sorry for the guy. You can tell that he’s really trying, and he’s been rehearsing a lot. But it’s just kinda pathetic. I gotta hand it to Karina, though, having the courage to let him throw her into those floor spins. Check, please! (Did you see what I did there? He’s a chef. Get it?)

And now, Viennese Waltz with the Refrigerator and the Aussie. Listen, I’ve been on this guy’s side, but I think we’ve finally discovered what he absolutely CAN’T do. That was awful. He had no feel for the Waltz, no up and down…he wasn’t even doing three steps in the three-four time. I thought that was horrendous. And, as has been the predominant case tonight, the judges are completely disagreeing with me. Welcome to my world. (I still think it was a mess.)

Now it’s Cody Jailbait and that Blonde Girl, doing a Jive. I don’t know how it’s gonna be, but I’m thinking it’ll at least be quicker than the slo-mo Lucci. Well, that at least FELT like a Jive. Except for some lapses in musicality, I though it wasn’t bad. I guess they’re all putting stops in their Jives because the stamina to sustain energy all the way through is tough. But couldn’t the young kid have tried going for it? The Gay Italian just called him a twinkling twinkie. I know there are several jokes I could add right here, but I’ll let you fill your own twinkie.

I think they even gave Rocco ore points than the twinkie. That’s just lame. Judges. Feh.

Toni and Alec did their Waltz next. And I thought the Jive was gonna have the worse time of it tonight. That was a kitschy nightmare, and I feel like I threw up a little in my mouth. The best thing I can say about the dance was that it was better than the music. I guess their steps weren’t horrible, but talk about overdoing everything. Such a dumb costume, such unsubtle choreography. I’m not sure I’m gonna make it through the season, kids.

It’s Cloris and Corky time. With Jive. I don’t know what to expect. Well…the dance just ended, and I’m still not sure about much. It was certainly, um, lively. And I have to admit that whatever she does, I don’t want to kill myself like I do with 80 percent of these celeb-lites dance. I guess I feel admiration that they didn’t even TRY to do a Jive. Sure, it was kind of gross and unsettling when Corky was “trying” to be funny. But I still want Cloris in this. Somehow, it’s keeping me grounded. Go figure.

Brooke and the Ken Doll are next, doing a Waltz. They apparently had drah-ma during the week. Um. Like I care. He is kind of insufferable. That was a pretty nice dance, even if she did shamelessly exploit her daughter at the end. They seem to turn in something respectable week after week, and she’s quite beautiful to watch. He’s becoming more of a brat in my eyes, but she is growing on me. It’s looking like she is doing her best to tolerate him — which I’m not sure I could do — and I give her further props for making it look like she doesn’t loathe him.

It’s odd when something real, like Misty’s injury, happens amid everything else that’s so plastic on this show. She was very gracious talking about her achilles tendon rupture (ouch). I feel really bad for her. She’s going into surgery tomorrow, and my prayers are with her.

This entry was posted on Monday, October 6th, 2008 at 10:07 pm and is filed under So You Think You Can Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.