Multiple Personality

The evening starts off with Brooke and Boytoy doing a Jive. Uh oh. After all the time in the roll-in spent with Brooke saying she’s focusing on “bringing the audience in,” this was her least animated dance all season. And she seemed to be forgetting steps all the way through. And she was just unfun to watch. I dunno, I want her to be in the finals, but she better get her act together before the second dance.

And the mediocrity keeps on comin’, as Cody Montana and Non-Natasha Appendectomimi take to the floor for the Paso Doble. Or, I guess, the Pass Double, since there was nothin’ Latin about that dance. What a hunka junk…and poor li’l Cody looking as close as a creature with joints can get to a stick figure. And, I ask you, what dance can’t be made more thrilling by spending eight or sixteen counts putting on a jacket? Sssssizzzlin’! I made the title of this post “A Bit Less Weak,” but if this shit keeps up, I’m a gonna haf’ta be changin’ that. Sheesh.

Warren and Kym. Mambo. Essentially crap. What IS this tonight? When the thing that I find most interesting in a dance is Kym’s level of nakedness, you know the dance doesn’t have a lot going for it. Not that I don’t appreciate that girl’s nekkidness. But when Warren started taking off his jacket (Yay!! More dance time spent with dressing and undressing!) I had to find somewhere else to look. And does anyone really consider what he did “dancing”? That was just this side of pathetic. I’m changing my mind about whether I want him in the finals. If Lance manages to wipe the plastic sheen off himself tonight, I’m gonna be a fickle pickle.

Lance and Lacey. Ahh…hmm. It’s strange when you know they’ll be performing a Jitterbug and a Mambo, and you can’t quite tell which one it is they’re doing. I guess it was a Mambo. A very fast, Swing-tempo Mambo. Without most of the sex. And pathetically enough, with everyone else’s first dances so bad, this was a breath of fresh — well, only slightly mildewed — air. Once I stopped grumbling about how non-Mambo the whole thing was, it was actually a rather interesting, stylized dance. And Lance wasn’t too plasticky.

On to round two dances; I already think we’re in trouble, having caught a glimpse of Brooke and Kendoll’s entirely non-Salsa outfits. I guess this is gonna bew the Aladdin Salsa. Of course. And as if Brooke doesn’t have it stacked against her already, they just had a professional Salsa couple show us how it’s done…and they REALLY showed us. That was fanTAStic! And now…back to the vortex. Well…that was actually pretty good. Derek doesn’t really know how to choreograph Salsa, but there was some nice flow in there, and Brooke seems like she’s back to her attractive self. I liked a few of the lifts (even if one of them was blatantly both-feet-off-the-floor, and Carrie Ann Inahhhhba is gonna go ballistic, no doubt), and Brooke was back to the precision she’s been showing up till the first dance tonight. I feel better about them going through to the finals now. Even with the I Dream of Jeannie costumes.

Stick-Figure Montana and Appendarella did a Salsa next. I’m trying to figure out how to describe it. You know the lead character from Tim Burton’s “The Nightmare Before Christmas”? Cody danced kinda like that. And just about as Latin. When I was a young dancer, I remember there was another guy in class who was (by his own admission) a virgin. And our teacher told him very clearly one day that he needed to get laid…his hips would never really dance well until he did. Well…I don’t mean to presume anything about li’l Cody, but — find a canteloupe or something, dude. It’s time for this young man to leave the competish…stick a fork in him, cuz he’d done. (Or stick something somewhere, so he starts to move them hips.)

We just got to see a professional Swing couple do a Jitterbug. Man, I love dance! And this is about the third one I’ve seen on this show this season! The guy was really off the chain, just a maniac, and it was great. I’m not sure it’s a good thing for this show to bring on such talent, when we know what awaits us just beyond it. But we’ll always have Paris, professional Swing couple. Well, Warren and Kym did not fare as well following the pro couple as Brooke and Kendoll did. In fact, Warren was pretty dang substandard. Sorry, Margot, he needs to leave. I’m tired of the big smile instead of technique. The guy looks plain stupid doing his little tippy-toe steps. Over it. Next. Check, please. Taxi.

Okay, I thnk Lance and Lacey must’ve worked themselves into the finals with that Jitterbug. And not just because Lance lost his shoe (how does that happen, again?) and kept on dancing. It was high energy, a little sloppy in parts, but still more than compensating everywhere else. I enjoyed it, it reminded me of good dancing (notice the careful wording there), and I’m content.

The finals: Lancey and Brookek. Anything other than that, and I’m be displeased. Or, I’ll just go “whatever,” and get on with things. Yeah…that’s probably what I’ll do. Meh. Go Obama! (Might as well throw in something legitimately exciting.)

Speaking of exciting, if you have any passion for daytime TV, I’ve begun regularly blogging on One Life to Live…the soap opera that actually has characters with…wait for it…Multiple Personalities. Anyway, the writing on this thing has gotten so good that I’ll be writing about it. If that floats your boat, check it out (it has its own category, on the right). I assure you it has more talent on display than this thing we’ve been suffering through on Monday nights.

This entry was posted on Monday, November 17th, 2008 at 10:39 pm and is filed under So You Think You Can Dance. You can follow any responses to this entry through the RSS 2.0 feed. You can leave a response, or trackback from your own site.