As part of my continuing commitment to providing you with the most essential and current news, hot off the wire, here are these two stories:
*Cows that are given names make 3.4 percent more milk.
“Just as people respond better to the personal touch, cows also feel happier and more relaxed if they are given a bit more one-to-one attention, by placing more importance on the individual, such as calling a cow by her name or interacting with the animal more as it grows up, we can not only improve the animal’s welfare and her perception of humans, but also increase milk production.”
*“Cello scrotum” has been cured. (”Guitar nipple” is also in remission.) It seems that some doctor in England — Elaine Murphy, to be exact — reported in a medical journal in 1974 that using these musical instruments could give you bad health conditions.
Murphy, now a Baroness and a former Professor of Psychiatry of Old Age at Guy’s Hospital in London, has admitted her supposed medical complaint was a spoof. “Perhaps after 34 years it’s time for us to confess we invented cello scrotum,” she wrote. Murphy said the couple had been “dining out” on their story ever since they made it up.
I think there should be some kind of punishment given to this creepy, lying Baroness Dr. Murphy woman…perhaps she should have to massage cow scrotums for the remainder of her days.
