Multiple Personality

This Stake-Out is Filet Mignon (ouch)

Nora and Bo are on a doting-parent stake-out outside of Wheelie’s school. It occurs to me that I am such a sucker for the old BoNora days that they only have to put these two in a car together and I’m counting the minutes before they reconcile. Is that just me? It’s clear the writers are stoking my obsession, because they’ve just sent Bo out to get hot dogs for the two of them. Once they reintroduce the junk food, it’s only a matter of time. And it’s nice to hear Nora laughing…come to think of it, she hasn’t had that laugh since the last time she was together with Bo. Hmm…

(more…)

I just finished catching up with the concluding episodes of season two. What a joyous piece of work…especially for a kid who grew up nerdy in the James Bond/Man from U.N.C.L.E. era.

I had no idea where they were going toward the end, how they were going to get where I suspected they needed to be. And for a show to be that unpredictable and original — in an age where so much work is just a clone of something else — is a dizzying testament to creativity and style. I hope NBC decides to renew this puppy for season three.

I totally hope this movie is as funny as its trailer:

Tequila Now Infused with Hibiscus. Limes Are Pissed.
For anyone tired of sucking the worm (not a euphemism), tequila now comes in a bottle with no moustache on the label. If you’ve grown weary of 31 flavors of exotically named vodka (Tchokolat Tchip!), it’s time to down a few bottles of hibiscus-infused Rosangel tequila. It’s so fancy, your pinkie will never touch the shot glass!

Some tequila is infused with herpes

People en Español Thinks 50 People Are Beautiful
What’s the only thing better than watching 50 pretty people be pretty? It’s watching them be pretty while dressing up like other pretty people! Yay! For its annual parade of beef and cheese (or should that be “cheesecake”…no, Eva Longoria Parker’s on the list — we got it right), some of the shiny objects of lust and bitter resentment have dressed up as classic movie stars. William Levy had to go as Robert Redford, since he already immortalized John Holmes in that penis-sock thing a few years ago. Besides the Longoria creature, the other beautiful estadounidenses (as they put it) to make the list are Six-Feet-Under-Ugly-Betty actor Freddy Rodriguez, Disney animatronic Selena Gómez, and small person Pee Wee. Special beautiful mention should go to actores mexicanos Eugenio Derbez and the drunk-on-consonants Allisson Lozz, who are both on a show called Al diablo con los guapos. We think the irony of that title is just…beautiful.

William Levy in The Sting, hiding the stinger that made him a star.

The Only Race to Talk About is the Amazing One
On the heels of a New York Times/CBS News poll that poll-ishly states two-thirds of Americans think race relations in the Obama-nation are “good,” Salon.com has been working their crack analytical skills overtime to figure out why. What they think? Well, it seems that our leader, Tall-Dark-and-Presidential, is achieving happy race relations by — wait for it — not talking about them. Chucking aside our skepticism for a brief moment (Would George Bush have gone away if we all just hadn’t looked at him for a while?), we are willing to entertain the Salon-dot-come-on conclusion that we should all take the President’s lead, and reach racial harmony by none of us talking about it anymore. Here’s the thing that makes us a little brown under the collar: In the entire article, the only colors mentioned are white and black. What up that, ese? We wonder how Latinos can agree to take part in not talking about race when we’re not being talked about as part of the people to not talk about. It.

Click for full size image
(This is so wrong on so many levels, but I couldn’t resist.)

(Maybe this is better.)

Bedtime for Gonzo (Journalist)

It’s Custody Day, and Tea is still in bed with the monkey on her back, High-Spirited Rapist and Newspaperman Todd Manning. In another bedroom, Starr is helping Drug Boy sweat all those nasty pharmaceuticals out of his system. And in a motel bedroom in Rochester, New York (do you hear Jack Benny saying “RAW-chesterrr” in your head, or is it just me?) Marty and Mumbles are hot on the trail of something-or-other. Being in Rochester can only mean one thing: Tomorrow is Powell Lord Day! Will his hair still look fabulous?

(more…)

Jess a Little Lovin’, Early in the Evenin’

Todd has come to heckle Tea in her hotel room, on the night before the forty-fifth custody hearing. They both have really good hair today, so I was anticipating some excellent sexing-up in the near future — that is, until R.J. came around the corner. Talk about your wood dropper (if you follow my drift).

(more…)

Gee, “Britain’s Got Talent” is really stealing the limelight from its competitors across the pond these days. Just when we’re all utterly sick of the oversaturated Susan Boyle market, along comes this little 10-year-old girl (the good stuff starts at about 1:40):

David Is Also a Client

I think it’s going to be a good day today: Viki is talking hemorrhoids with David Vickers, Brody still has his shirt off, and Roxy — in her Bowery Boy Timberlake silly hat — is confronting Evil Coma Marrow Person: ‘You tried to whack me, so I do believe you are more alive than you’re letting on. So I’m not gonna spend the rest of my life lying awake at night, wondering if I’m gonna wake up dead.” (That speech was so good and screwy, I had to transcribe it in full.)

(more…)

Don’t Order Room Service at the Palace

(I defer today’s Title-of-the-Day honors to the show, who came up with “Stab Me Once, Shame on You.” Good going.)

Fish and Roxy are having Fun With Hats Day at the Fleabag; while they debate the virtues of Mumbles’s stabbability. Fish goes for the obvious Policeman’s Baseball Cap, while Roxy gets daring with the Bowery Boys Special. In the midst of a flurry of Roxy-speak, she not only mentions Mayor McCheesy’s great hair, she also refers to Blair’s knifing as a “Normie Bates.” (Speaking of good hair, I’ve learned a tidbit about who’s coming back to the show on April 30. I won’t say anything more, but I sure hope he/she still has that fab hair thing goin’ on.)

(more…)

This season’s Survivor ended with a moment tonight that made me gleeful and utterly satisfied. And for reasons that resonate with the state of the world, not just the lurid drama of the reality show.

One of the great and pivotal moments in our country and our world was the swing point when public opinion caught up with the crimes of the Bush-Cheney administration. Up until that point, the powers that be (were) thought they could get away with anything…and it seemed like they could. But the Hubris of Arrogant White Guys (HAWG, if you will) finally caught up with them. I remember the point where Dick Cheney thought he was so invincible, that he had the people so wrapped around his fat, arthritic finger, that he didn’t need to perform his Black Ops with stealth and covertness any longer. He showed his hand, and — for the first time since Ronald Reagan started throwing us down the rabbit hole — the American people woke up from the fever dream and noticed what was being done to us.

There is a character (I hesitate to say “person,” because I’m hoping he’s playing a role and isn’t really this way) on Survivor who calls himself “Coach.” (more…)