Multiple Personality

After watching all seasons of So You Think You Can Dance, plus just last night watching a tape of this year’s Kennedy Center Honors, I have pinpointed a mounting trend that I find quite disconcerting: television has concluded that we’re more interested in watching people’s reactions to things than to the things themselves.

Yes, it it customary to cut between a performance and the audience (or judges) watching a performance, but the time ratio between performance and reaction has drastically altered. On the Kennedy Show Honors, there was literally at least 50 percent of performance time devoted to reaction shots. Granted, some of the shots were of the honorees, but here’s a tip for directors: If you’ve captured a reaction shot of great surprise over what they are viewing, chances are WE WANT TO SEE IT TOO.

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Fireworks

I wonder if there’s anyone in Conservative America who’s as rebuffed watching Kyle and Fish as I am watching Gigi and Schuyler.

I don’t know if I’ll have all that much more to say today…I’m feeling strangely end-of-the-year lethargic, and it’s all I can do to stay alert as Sassy declares her undying Lumber Love to poor Matthew.

On to something interesting (while the fire burns and Gigi whores out in the background…avoiding…avoiding…), Kyle has realized the duplicitous elfishness that is Nick. I have to say that they made Nick sympathetic as he admitted how he couldn’t bear the thought of being alone after the bashing. Semi-sniff. Then Kyle dumped his ass and rushed off to reclaim the ass that he wanted. (Did I phrase that poetically or not? I’m losing perspective.)

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Christmas Is Over…Lose the Elf!

Clammy is all dolled up like Audrey Hepburn for the Mayor’s New Year’s The Who’s Tommy’s Ball. (Sorry…I got carried away with possessives.) Dorian was trying to use the occasion of Bo and Nora’s expected humiliation to sidle up to Clint’s saddle, but then she saw the Hepclam (Clamburn?) and snorted.

After Roxy got done tearing Rex Two a second asshole (and finding out that his old room is still empty), she paid a visit to the gay lovebirds (and their shiny victim friend) down the hall. Fish has been trying to cure Kyle of his sudden codependency over the elf in the bed, and get the hell outta there to celebrate New Year’s together…and by “celebrate New Year’s,” of course I mean “mount each other and use the whole box of Roxy-rubbers.” So imagine Roxy’s surprise when she busts in on them and finds duplicitous pointy-head in da bed.

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OMG, I love love LOVE this!

I do enjoy Alanis, and I’ve always liked this song…but it has always bugged my butt that none of the freakin’ references is actually IRONY. Finally…a voice in the wilderness has literally responded…or responded literally…whatever…

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They’re Trying To Make Us Go To Rehab

Llanfair continues counting down the year on its Magical Realism Calendar, as we go from last week’s Christmas Day all last week to New Year’s Eve all this week.

My favorite piece of premeditation in last week’s shows was the transformation of Schuyler from scruffy weirdo-lookin’ to preppy dreamboat boy. I love the way they modify someone’s looks when they want us to feel differently toward them. Thus Schuy begins his rehab into the “one we’re supposed to root for.” So they cut off his weird-whiskers. I wonder what they’d have to cut off of Gigi for me to want to root for her again…maybe her head.

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Hey, kids, one of those funny girls from [title of show] (and I mean actual girls, not one of the two guys who march to their own drummer) has her own new Webshow. It probably won’t make much of a diff to you unless you like the theater and/or musicals and/or Broadway. And if you don’t like any of those things, do you really see much hope for this relationship?

This funny [title of show] girl licks her guests. And one of her guests is Jonathan Groff. I would lick that. (more…)

I’ve watched this clip like seven times, and it still makes me laugh so hard I cry. Enjoy:

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Clammy Turned On By Nigel, and Other Christmas Miracles

Clint and Clammy have paraded themselves in front of Nora as Fornicators. Nora hasn’t said anything yet, but the look on her face is, “Oh, Clint, you silly ol’ thing! Trying to get back at me by doing theater-in-the-round with a skank!”

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Mitch Knows That You Can’t Spell “Santa” Without “Satan”

Bear with me, kids. We’re seven minutes into this opus today, and I’m still waiting for something new to report.

Things are feisty at Seattle Memorial Non-McDreamy General Hospital. Dani is blasting both her parents with both guns. I love this girl…and doesn’t she REALLY look like she could be the daughter of Tea and Todd? It’s a little spooky.

Bo and Nora are on the sidelines watching Tea get her karmic just-desserts. They better get used to some serious sturm und drang, cuz Clint and Clammy are planning a “get even” operation….and it don’t involve anesthesia.

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Delfina Gets a Toaster Oven

The product placement is flying fast and furious over at La Boolah. Dorian has triumphantly returned from jail, but the Young-’Uns hardly give her the homage she deserves because they are so busy plugging the GREAT NEW FEATURE FILM, “NINE,” RATED PG-13! Enjoy it with some delicious REESE’S PEANUT BUTTER CUPS!

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