Cleaning House (and Senate)
There seems to be something interesting happening in Congress. Obama has been talking about “change” since he started campaigning, and maybe we’re already in the early stages of it. Either that, or karma is just shooting some people in the foot who’ve had their pistols cocked for quite some time (stay tuned for a pay-off to the “pistols cocked” metaphor).
As much as Republicans like to disparage the morals of Democrats — and nobody has perfected disparaging quite like Republicans, perhaps under the tutelage of Karl “I’m Satan” Rove — it seems that the real violations of ethics and morals have been coming home to roost lately in GOP laps. (If you’re worried about mixed metaphors, what with roosting, laps, and cocked pistols, please just give me a wide stance — I mean, berth. Trust me. I’m a professional.)
The first cocked rooster in the recent parade of he’ll-get-what’s-comin’-to-him is a lapdog (dare I say cockhound?) whose career STALLed during a “connection” at the Minneapolis airport. And while Mary Tyler Moore may have turned the world on with her smile, it’s Senator Larry Craig who turned the men’s room on with his hand. I normally wouldn’t take aim against a poor closeted sot who can’t reconcile his groin with his in-breeding, but this particular sot has been quite proactive in anti-homo legislation. To quote “Wild Willie” Shakespeare, “The lady doth protest too much, methinks.” (Yeah, I could have paraphrased the “lady” part. What’s your point?)
The next bane to Democracy that recently got some expunging was Jesse Helms. Granted, this was the “ultimate karma,” but it’s a symbolic housecleaning. Though he’d been out of office — and unable to wreak his personal brand of malice — for a while, his passing off the earthly plane provides a convenient step two in the three-part delousing currently unfolding (and I’m open for it becoming a ten- or twelve-part delousing, if the fates are so inclined).
And who is the last louse in the current fumigation triumvirate? Why, it’s Alaska’s Senator Ted Stevens! It appears that this crotchety fart’s “series of tubes” are being tied even as we speak. I wouldn’t put someone (even a Republican) in the karma krosshairs just for being ill-mannered — although the badly behaved style of this misanthrope certainly has stunted Congress’s ability to rationally and sensibly do its work. But Tumescent Ted has a whole history of self-serving filibustering and maneuvering, blocking worthwhile legislation unless it also includes funding for his bridges to nowhere. This guy is one of the original Big Unchecked Egos, and it’s time he was colonic-flushed out of the bowels of our government.
SoÂ . . . next?